Green with envy

Drama.

Last weekend's Masters golf tournament was full of it, and it was phenomenal. The tournament had everything. It brandished a field with more international representation than the United Nations. Three of top five finishers were American (Phil Mickelson), English (Lee Westwood), and Korean (K.J. Choi) while the rest of the top-20 featured South Africans (Ernie Els), Swiss (Trevor Immelman), Spaniards (Jimenez), Argentians (Angel Cabrera) and New Zealanders (Geoff Ogilvy) filled out the rest of the international delegation.

Tiger Woods dominated the storylines coming into the spectacle known as The Masters, aided greatly by his over-active libido. TMZ.com seemed to be the spark that ignited the media firestorm that began some six months ago on Thanksgiving night, when Woods landed in the hospital, taking down a fire hydrant, tree and his Cadillac Escalade with him.

Tiger's self-contradiction fueled the already uncontrollable blaze when he came out with an über-controversial Nike Golf commercial featuring his dad's stern voice over a close-up of Tiger. This is controversial because of the fact that Earl Woods has been dead for years, so therefore the speech he is making in the ad is completely out of context.

It's creepy to picture Earl speaking to Tiger from the afterlife; it's reminiscent of Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Secondly, and way more irking to me, is the way that Woods pulls off one of the most hypocritical and contradictory moves since the original pot called the kettle black, demanding privacy in a press conference on Feb. 19 regarding his "transgressions." And then using his spokesman position at Nike to exploit his scandal.

His new commercial uses his father – yeah, the one who's been dead since 2006 – as the voice of the people, expressing our deflating disappointment in him, and how we need him to come back and prove himself.

What we need is for Tiger to shut up and play.

Everything changed once the tournament launched with the legendary swings of the King and the Golden Bear. Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus had no idea about the history they had just initiated. The 2010 Masters had everything from ageless wonders sitting atop the leaderboard to phenoms in the making challenging for the ultra-lusted after Green Jacket.

Two players that belong on the Champions Tour illustrated the power of plastic hips – 60-year-old Tom Watson – and bedroom slippers – 50-year-old Fred Couples. Both elder members of the PGA Tour maintained their contention, but couldn't overtake the likes of 24-year-young Anthony Kim, who placed third, Westwood, runner-up, or Masters Champion Phil Mickleson, who will be 40 later this year.

Whoever says golf is boring, well, you might want to double check that, because the 2010 Masters had more heartbreaks, miracle "scores" and punch-in-the-face "Snookies" than the first season of Jersey Shore.

Per usual, only one man can walk away with the coveted Green Jacket, and this year it was widely-predicted to be Tiger Woods' fifth.

But just the opposite happened. If Tiger is Yin, then Phil is Yang. And Yang took the championship, along with everything else that opposed everything that is Tiger.

Vintage Phil made an appearance as he returned to his "river-boat gambler" mentality, making miracle shot after miracle shot, nearly stringing together three birdies in a row on Saturday. He missed the third, from about 160 yards out, by roughly seven inches.

Meanwhile, Woods' calculated every shot to the nuance. Then he recalculated it. Then he missed the putt. What happened to the Tiger we all knew, the one that armored himself in his Sunday Red and won every Major Championship ever?

Phil, the No. 2 ranked golfer in the world, beat Tiger Woods', the No. 1 golfer in the world – even after a five-month hiatus – but then something happened that couldn't be scripted by Hollywood's writers. Phil pumped his fists simultaneously with his sinking putt on 18-green and shared the most beautiful moment with his wife – yeah, the one that is battling breast cancer.

Brace yourself, here's another Mickleson-opposite-Woods moment. Phil embraced and kissed his wife — the one he never cheated on like Tiger did to Elin. The moment could have only been better if Michael Bay incorporated his famed "camera-encircling-the-kissing-couple" camera angle for the perfect movie ending.

Upon further review, Phil Mickleson had tears of elation sparkling upon his cheek as he shared his fairytale Masters weekend with his gorgeous family.

I loved to watch Tiger prowl and prey upon every golfer in the field while hating Phil and his diva-esque tendencies after he blew a championship. Now I love the personification of Phil as a professional athlete, and I love the down-to-earthness of him as a superstar.

Phil high-fives every hand that's extended to him and signs most every autograph, while Tiger emotionlessly bypasses every knuckle-bump.

The most beautiful thing about 2010 Masters was not the Green Jacket, but the shade of envious green that Tiger exuded towards his complete opposite and rival, Phil.

Get it. Got it. Good.